Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Choose to Keep Going

About a year ago, things became so overwhelming for me emotionally and mentally that I knew I needed to take a step back. After experiencing a truly broken heart (I guess we all need one or two right?!) I decided to stop dating altogether while I got my life back in order. I'm just now feeling like my actions are starting to create more order, more harmony, but I'm not quite there yet. 

I have a long way to go spiritually as I heal my relationship with God. 

I have a long way to go physically as I re-prioritize by eating right and taking care of my body. 

I have a long way to go emotionally as I understand my past and triggers and emotions. 

I have a long way to go mentally by continuing to expand my knowledge every day. 

However, I cannot negate the strides I have made and how far I've come. I am a completely different person than I was a few months ago! My anxiety is not crippling. I am happier and more confident than I ever. I am feeling a real purpose in all that I do. 

I will tell you that I often think about my future still. I think about my future husband and babies and imagine what life will be like with them. My thoughts aren't anxiety-ridden like they used to be. They are more peaceful and I know that comes from my decision to focus on my relationship with Heavenly Father. 

I love this excerpt from Al Fox Carraway:

"You will be blessed with a companion that will help you in the ways you need, even if sometimes you feel like they don't exist, or that you're asking for too much or you're too picky. Don't let passing time allow doubts and settling to take over. Don't lose patience and miss out on what He has in store for you. Don't hold yourself back from learning and growing and experiencing other things. Just hold on and don't lose confidence. Heavenly Father knows what’s important to us and what we need. 

Those who are single, don’t waste your thoughts comparing yourself and defining yourself by what you aren’t and what others are. Don’t allow yourself to question what is “wrong with you.” Heavenly Father did not shortchange or screw up on you. Don't stress. You just worry about you and worry about God. Because the thing about Heavenly Father is that if we are trying and are patient, we will never be short-changed from the best blessings He has to offer. Yeah, sure our future can be uncertain at times, but how exciting that is! How exciting it is to know it's guided by God! Happiness and unhappiness exists in the same exact place at the same time through different people. It's true, life is what you make it. Or it could be what we allow God to make of it for us. 

What will you choose? Choose happiness. And to choose happiness is to choose God. Choose to keep going. Choose to trust. Choose to have faith. To keep your hope. And choose to receive the unexpected, but profoundly greater path with the best blessings. I promise, you'll be alright."

Love this.

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