Thursday, April 30, 2015

All I Ask of You

To be perfectly honest, life isn't at all easy right about now. In fact, I don't know if it's ever been this hard. I don't know why I'm living under the disillusion that life will get easier as I get older, because I think it's just gotten harder. Or maybe I'm just more fully aware of my pitfalls and problems. Either way, the past year or so of my life has been so heart breaking and difficult. I find myself grasping at anything to get me through it and slipping further and further down. 

I think I spend too much time focusing on the "why" of my issues and not enough on coping with what I have been given. EVERYONE has their own struggles and trials to get through. I'm always comparing myself and thinking, "why am I the one dealing with mental health and depression? Why did God give this to me? Why is this happening to me when I have so many beautiful things in my life and I was raised in such a loving home by great parents? Why??"

God knows why. Maybe I agreed that these would be my demons when I came to Earth because I was so strong and He knew I could handle it. There is a promise of a beautiful tomorrow for me, if only I could see through the fog. 

Often I think about my struggles with anxiety, depression and self-esteem and wonder how I can ever be in a healthy relationship, let alone a marriage one day. All the more reason for me to focus on ME right now, right? Trust me, I am. 

Whenever I hear the song "All I Ask of You" from Phantom of the Opera, I cry. I mean, I bawl like a baby. Today I think I understand why. It's a man promising to guard, protect and set free a young woman with darkness and fear in her life. She's not perfect and neither is he but he loves her and he is willing to do anything to keep her safe and help her through her personal darkness. 

One day I will find a man willing to do the same for me. 

No more talk of darkness,
forget these wide-eyed fears;
I'm here, nothing can harm you,
my words will warm and calm you.
Let me be your freedom,
let daylight dry your tears;
I'm here, with you, beside you,
to guard you and to guide you.

Say you'll love me every waking moment;
turn my head with talk of summertime.
Say you need me with you now and always;
promise me that all you say is true,
that's all I ask of you.

Let me be your shelter,
let me be your light;
you're safe, no one will find you,
your fears are far behind you.

All I want is freedom,
a world with no more night;
and you, always beside me,
to hold me and to hide me.

Then say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime;
let me lead you from your solitude.
Say you want me with you, here beside you,
anywhere you go, let me go too,
that's all I ask of you.

Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime.

Say the word and I will follow you.
Share each day with me, each night, each morning.

Say you love me ...

You know I do.

Love me, that's all I ask of you.

That's all I ask of you.....second favorite song <3


No comments: