Saturday, December 20, 2014

Dating is the WORST

Dating is the worst. The absolute worst. Nothing in this world is worse than the feeling I get right before a date begins. I hate the small talk, the awkwardness, the stupid piece of me that analyzes everything about the evening. I hate not feeling a spark and just wanting to run away. I hate when it goes well and then they never call me again and I don't know why. 

Lately I've been making more of an effort for the sake of: "I'm 26 and I want to get married and have babies and start this thing." It hasn't been fun. It hasn't been easy. As I go on more dates and talk to more guys I realize that our generation just isn't good at courting; especially the guys. So I decided to put a list of advice together for the fellas (probably more for the Mormon guys) out there hoping to woo a special lady. Here we go.

1. Take me out on an actual date. Don't take me to a church activity. Don't take me to a "hang out" with your friends. This shows you are interested in getting to know me one on one.

2. Plan an actual date. This has been such a problem lately. I'm tired of getting phone calls like this, "hey Whitney wanna do something tonight? What do you feel like doing?" What do I feel like doing? I feel like not going on this date and staying in bed with my dog, that's what I feel like doing. Call me with a plan or few ideas in mind.

3. Actually CALL ME. So number 2 was completely generous because most guys DON'T EVEN CALL ANYMORE. Seriously, when I get a phone call from a guy I get so excited. Mostly I get texts or SNAPCHATS about them wanting to "get together" or "hang out."

4. Don't take me to a movie for a first date. It's awkward and we don't get to talk much. Plus I have two hours to sit in a movie theatre seat and internalize how panicky I am.

5. Communicate. Look me right in the eyes when you ask me a question. ASK ME QUESTIONS. Lead the conversation. Laugh at my stupid jokes. Use this opportunity to ask me deeper, more thought provoking questions so we can try to make a connection. 

6. Don't try anything. You know what I mean. Just don't. 

7. If you're interested, let me know. Don't "play the game" and not text or call because you're scared I will think you're coming on too strong. I like a confident guy.

8. Be an actual, real-life gentleman. Open doors - especially car doors. Pay the bill. I should never have to awkwardly reach for my purse to pay.

9. Don't talk about exes. I feel like everyone should know this, why do they not?

10. I can't think of a number 10 right now but I can't leave it at 9 because I'm slightly OCD and that's just crazy talk. 

Here is my actual dream: meet a guy through mutual friends. Become friend with that guy. Have guy ask me on an actual date and get to know me. Sparks fly. Date guy for some time. Get engaged to guy & then married. Live happily ever after.

It's gonna happen, right?


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