I hope writing this "letter" to you will be therapeutic to me, because obviously I can't sum up any courage to tell these things to your face or even over the phone. You. Are. A. Jerk. I can't even begin to tell you how much pain you have caused me. These past three or four weeks have been HELL. Sure, I pretend like everything is fine and dandy, and sometimes I even believe myself. But then guess what happens? You freaking contact me. Why do you do that? I've spent hours wondering. Are you just lonely? Maybe even miss me a little? I just think you're self absorbed and selfish. Otherwise you would let me heal.
So what has happened since you left? I've learned who my real friends are. Side note: most of them hate your guts so watch out. I've made some amazing goals and taken great steps toward them. I've seen some pain and hurt and had to talk about it with some one I really didn't want to talk about it with. I've gained weight. I've never felt this fat or disgusting before. I feel like I've turned to food for comfort and instead hurt myself badly. I've cried a lot... learned more about myself, and really realized what I want in a man. And it's NOT YOU.
So please, please, please stop. I'm obviously not strong enough or mean enough to ignore you. I still have these feelings for you. But I need you to stay away. I need to take time for me and hopefully realize that I deserve more than this. I deserve to be treated like a princess. Though I doubt it will ever happen for me, I still need to believe.