Thursday, March 16, 2017

On the Edge

I feel like I'm on the edge of something (a phrase we use at Girl Scouts) really incredible and important in my life right now. I've discovered more about who I am and how God feels about me in the last two months than ever before. As I reflect, I think it's due to some very key events that happened since early December:
  • Feeling depressed after surgery; confused about my spirituality and gaining more perspective/strengthening testimony
  • Let's Get Real event with mom
  • Seeing the movie "the Shack"
  • Reading the book "The Gifts of Imperfection"
  • Phone conversations with Bonnie
  • Reading the Book of Mormon with a study guide
  • Daily affirmations and selfies with Abby 
  • Consistently staying for all three hours of church
  • Starting to slowly get back to the gym and eat healthier 
  • Real, personal prayer
My prayers have really changed, as has my faith and perspective on who God is. I've started asking Him to let me know how He feels about me and how I can better "show up" in my life. I ask to see His hand in all I do and to feel joy through trials and sorrow. I'm starting to wake up happy and enjoy my days. I'm also enjoying work so much I can't believe it. It's incredible to have that in the workplace and to feel seen and loved.

All of the events above are shaping me into something greater and opening up my eyes to who I am and my purpose here on Earth. I think I'm moving towards starting to love myself, little by little. I know this is something I need to work on before I meet "the man," and I'm grateful for this opportunity to learn and grow. I used to be so angry and bitter with God for making me wait for my dreams to come true but I now see He is saving me for something special and using this time to mold me into an incredible woman. I know it's an uphill battle and there's probably a lifetime of learning ahead. I know there will be good days and bad days. But this I know as well: I was brought to this earth for a very particular reason and I am a daughter of a King. I am divine. I am loved. I may even be beautiful. ;)


1 comment:

Ali Mills said...

You ARE beautiful and I want you to know that!