I don't know how else to soothe my nerves so I decided to write. Maybe I won't even re-read what bounces from my brain to my fingers to this page.

When I was young I thought love would be easy and natural. Admittedly, I am jaded. Though my heart still clings faithfully to the notion that my own fairy tale is out there waiting for me, my head screams to stop the dreaming.

Along with physical pain I am left clinging desperately to any hope that lives within me. We learn, we grow and we we progress, but our happiness seems so distant in these times of adversity.

One day, a month full of high hopes and expectations and a shattering of said expectations is all it can take to crush a spirit. I cannot and will not blame myself. Please don't let me.

Don't forget to pray fervently and listen for an answer before you make decisions.

Please forgive me for my jumbled and slightly depressing thoughts this evening. I am actually proud of myself for being able to withstand the pain I experienced today. Though my heart is bruised, my resolve is firm.

"Adversity is the first path to truth" -Lord Byron

And thank you to my friends and family. Truly, I love you more than I can say.

Also, crying can be extremely therapeutic. I highly recommend it during difficult times.