Monday, June 28, 2010

Let Your Light So Shine

Do you ever feel a hole in your life?

It seems silly to admit that I do. From the outside looking in, it seems I really have it all. But maybe it really isn't true.

When I was a young girl, I knew exactly what I wanted to do with my life: I wanted to act. But, I was shy, and all hope of pursuing that dream seemed illogical, so I took to writing. I was fascinated with the written word. By the time I was fourteen I had completed a full-length novel and had five others in the works. It made me happy, though I had little faith in my talent.

Time passed and I went to college. I picked a major I knew I would be good at: Journalism. I loved to write, work with people and I marveled at the idea of seeing my name in print. Soon a new specialization emerged from my studies: Public Relations. PR is everything I am good at meshed into one profession (take that how you will). So I worked as hard as I could, took a few internships, learned more about myself and graduated with a BA in Journalism/PR. It was the logical choice for me, a major I knew could take me places.

I can promise everyone who graduates college in this day and age that they will experience some of what I am experiencing now. It's not easy to face a world of uncertainty. It's also not easy to face a world of endless opportunity. What to do with myself? Am I making the right choices? Am I being the best person I can be?

I'm so eternally grateful for the job I have now. I'd like to think I'm good at it. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I'm learning and growing each and every day. I'm blessed beyond reason and maybe I shouldn't be indulging in these thoughts at all.

But there's always this little voice, gnawing at me in the back of my head. Why is it silly to admit that I still want to pursue a career in film? Why can I not sit down and write endless poems, short stories, novels and screenplays like I used to?

Remember to have the courage to pursue your dreams. Defy all reason and logic and be exactly who you want to be. Don't give up on yourself. Don't be like me and cry every time you're inspired by a film or a novel and think, "Wow, I wish I had the courage to inspire people like that." Don't be like me and hide your talents from the world. Be brave, be strong and let your light so shine.

I pray and hope that one day I can see myself in a kinder light, that I can recognize the talents that Heavenly Father has given me and be confident in who I am and especially how I look. I pray that I can have the courage to pursue my dreams, to take chances, make mistakes and never regret that I did.

Latest book study: The Quarterlife Crisis

"All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them" -Walt Disney

"Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify your Father, which is in Heaven" -Matthew 5:16


Miss Amy said...

This was me in 2006. I graduated college, had my dream job as an event planner for MGM Mirage Corporation for the Las Vegas casinos. It was ideal....for someone else. I had that gnawing idea at the back of my head that I just NEEDED to travel, and somehow get paid to do it. It was illogical, unreasonable, unresponsible...but only because it was the unknown. I had an opportunity in the aviation industry, where I would be flying around the world for weeks on end in private jets.... I'd have to move to Florida in 2 weeks time to a job I had no experience with, I knew nobody, I had no "knowns" here....Just dreams. I decided I couldn't turn it down. I quit MGM, moved 2 weeks later. Arrived on a Sunday, hopped on a private jet on a Monday. I didn't stop traveling for the next 4 years.... Now, I'm not saying that's the way for everyone. Every story is different. I made it work, and there were SERIOUS growing pains...Alot of quick growing up to do, no stability or security.. It was scary, to put lightly. But it worked out...for a while. But after 4 years, I needed to leave that "fairy tale life". The reason it seemed so glamorous and incredible...well, because it was. But it was also not reality. If I wanted to have any chance at being a normal human with friends, a husband, a child....I needed to choose me OVER my dream career. Again, not what everyone would choose.... But I did. And I cannot tell you how HAPPY and COMPLETE this choice has ultimate made in my life.... I wish you all the best in filling that "hole", love. Sometimes it takes jumping for that dream...Other times, that dream might not work out. But you have so much potential, I know you'll make a difference no matter what you choose.... Sorry for the long post...I just felt like I could relate SO closely to this experience you're going through. ;)

Whitney said...

Amy.. thank you so much. It really helps to know some one understands what I'm going through. I just feel like if I'm to pursue these crazy dreams.. isn't now the time? I'm also scared I'll do something drastic and absolutely hate what I thought I'd love. I don't know!! I'll figure it out...
How long were you with MGM before you decided to take the other job? I want to hear all about this...

AshLeMieux said...

i have nothing as profound as Amy...but girl, I'm right there with ya! The past few years, every time I felt a "hole", it was because some big change was around the corner (i.e. mission, school change, getting married) and I just needed to figure out what I needed to do next. Now that I've done those things there's not the feeling of a hole, but an in-satisfaction of where I am career wise. I have learned through this, however, that the "holes" we feel is Heavenly Father's way of making us search for a way to become better, and progress to another level and step in our lives. I'll tell ya, sometimes I thought I was gonna have a heart attack trying to figure out what I was supposed to do, but after He let me know, it all made sense, and I grew up. The process never ends my friend :) You'll get it...!

Whitney said...

ashley i love you!! thank you!! i seriously look up to both you and amy soo much... i know Heavenly Father is trying to tell me that there is more I can be doing. I hope with prayer and dedication I can figure it out soon. Love you both-- I hope one day I'll be as amazing and confident as you ladies:)

Miss Amy said...

I love what Ashley said....and I have to say, it's far more profound than what I wrote! I completely agree with her. It is absolutely Heavenly Father's way of telling us to look deeper, trust ourselves, and trust in Him to explore ALL that we're capable of. If you're scared, that's normal! It doesn't mean you'll fail. And what is the worst that will happen if you find out you "hate what you thought you'd love"?? You go back to PR, or you try something else! Now you know! I would much rather know if I love/don't love something, than wonder. I have always loved the quote by Jeffrey R. Holland - "If God has told you something is right, if something is indeed true for you, He will provide a way for you to accomplish it." I know this is true!

I was only with MGM Mirage for 9 months before I left. Most of those 9 months were spent agonizing over what I should do, however.... I knew I couldn't do that job forever. I knew a change needed to be made, I just didn't know what. Then when opportunity came, I took it.

You WILL find your way. Pay attention to what the Lord has in mind for you. Best part about it, is in the end, He is always right about what will make you happy... I wish I learned a long time ago to just TRUST - it would have saved me alot of time and heartache!! :) I love you girl - and I'm here anytime to talk things through with you!

Whitney said...

I have only been with my job for a little over three months. And it just doesn't feel right. Am I being silly?? I keep praying about what He would have me do. I miss working for Disney so much too... I don't know what to do. I knew when I graduated I really wanted to move out of state but it didn't seem like the right time.. I'm good at my job.. and lots of things about it make me happy. But it just doesn't feel 100 percent right. Ughh stress.